So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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