did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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