You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
