your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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