How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
