If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
