went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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