Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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