It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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