Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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