You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
