I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
