How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
