He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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