i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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