just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
