It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
