She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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