the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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