Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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