yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
