she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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