Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need a beard to bite.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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