i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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