I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
