Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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