Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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