is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
