So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
