i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
