Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
