Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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