Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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