I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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