You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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