Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We left an ass print on the piano.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
