new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
