He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
