Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
don't judge my taste in strippers
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
