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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

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• (619): View more from California

  wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh

  (1-619): View more from California

  maybe you did when you were drunk

  (619): View more from California

  no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.

  Fav 48 4402 3326

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

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• (415): View more from California

  I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

  Fav 1 1063 713

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?

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• (805): View more from California

  her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb

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• (916): View more from California

  This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later

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