my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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