Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
