My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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