Christians are straight up FREAKS
nut hugger
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize