You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The uberlube is also flammable
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
