And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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