Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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