It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
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