Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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