is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
