i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
