I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize