Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
