I love black thongs
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
