I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
